My Letter to my 2018 Self

To the 2018 me,


It’t that time again. As the final moments of 2017 drift off and become a memory, 2018 will burst forth in a cascade of confetti and kisses, filled with dreams, desires, resolutions and intentions. 

2017 was really one for the books. The Universe seemed intent on pushing you out of the nest whether you were ready to fly or not.  Sometimes the wind caught you and you glided effortlessly…other times you crashed and burned. Every single time, regardless of the outcome, you were given the grace to try again and go a little further. For all of this, especially your efforts, I say thank you, I am proud of you and don’t forget you will do better when you know better so, PLEASE, don’t ever stop evolving.   


This is your 50th year, and while many like to lament that they are old, I want you to wrap yourself in the comforting thought of how blessed you are to be here. Embrace the wisdom that your 50 trips around the sun have gifted you. Share it humbly with those who ask and be a living, breathing example of how beautiful and strong 50 actually is. Commit to doing one thing every month that is all about YOU! I don’t care what it is…just keeping saying YES. Don’t let a single thing slow you down. I think it is going to be a monumental year for you. Create that. 


 Look at your body and smile…stop judging. Every wrinkle, every scar, every gray hair is proof that you lived. Make your best effort to give it the nutrition it needs, the rest it is asking for, the exercise it craves. Whatever you do - DO NOT attach your health to numbers because you are so much more than your weight, your waistline, the number of carbs you ingest. Measure your body by your ability to breathe, to move, to create life, to nurture, to heal, to serve…Do whatever it takes to feel beautiful, but do it from the inside out. No one will remember what shoes you wore on New Years Eve, but they will remember your smile and your sincerity and the way you made them feel. This year, make a supreme effort to make everyone feel seen and important. Do this while maintaining the clear balance of who your inner circle is. Know who contributes to your growth and who depletes it. Honor this knowing and create a sacred circle of those who fill your soul. DO NOT COMPROMISE. This is your tribe. You are meant to do great things together. 


Never, ever forget that you were brought to this earth plane and given this body for a purpose. This purpose is much bigger than you. Continue finding time to listen to your soul. Don’t fall prey to that silly voice that always squirms its way into your brain to taunt you and tell you that you’re not good enough or that you can’t do something. No matter how difficult it is, ALWAYS stay in your integrity. Give more than you take. Your unwavering faith has always been your strength. I know you see the collective pain that has surrounded our world and you feel it deeply, but I also know you have this inferno of faith burning inside you that makes you capable of rising above this collective energy to be a beacon of light and hope. This is what you were brought here to do. Take action- don’t simply talk. Never underestimate the power of love. Never underestimate YOUR own power or the power held in a single moment.  It’s all about energy. Keep yours clean by practicing ritual. Meditate. Pray your ass off. Take  notice of all the tiny miracles happening every single day!! Write them down…speak them out loud…allow them to multiply and give you hope. Share that hope. In the dark moments, and their will be many, don’t shrink in fear. Hold that vision given to you ,so many years ago as a child, of yourself being held in the palm of a giant hand. It saved you then, it will save you always. You are safe. You are guided. You are loved. LET PEOPLE LOVE YOU!! You are so good at giving it out, but you’re not too good at receiving it. Practice this in 2018. No one does great things alone


Which brings me to your intuition. You have spent years studying it and learning its language. You know more than what is in front of you. Your third eye is wide open…let’s practice NEVER doubting that. Go with your gut. It has never steered you wrong. In fact, your hardest lessons came from ignoring it. This year, let’s live through our inner knowing rather than the brain. Feel, feel, feel instead of think, think, think…I know this is hard for you because your intellect sometimes gets in the way, but you can do this. Be brave when it comes to making decisions this way because often they go against what others believe is right. You can do hard things. Trust- in yourself and in your God. 


2017 was filled with so many triumphs. It was also filled with so many lessons. The last couple of months of the year rocked you. I mean down to your core-physically, emotionally and spiritually. But , hey girl, look at you making it through, even if it felt like you did it on your hands and knees. I know it sucked being stopped in your tracks like that and needing other people desperately.  I  believe it laid the groundwork for your next uplevel. It cleared out all the stuff you have been carrying that you didn’t really need anymore. It gave you new clarity. You have spent lots of years being hard on yourself and others. It’s ok to not be perfect. It’s ok to need help. It is ok to make mistakes and change your plan. It’s ok when other people aren’t perfect. They aren’t here to live up to your expectations. They are here to live out their own journey. They love in their own way. See this. Appreciate it. Love them back in your own way. My greatest intention for you for 2018 is fervent connection. I want you to work on every single relationship you hold dear. Do not be frightened. Have all the hard conversations - even if you get that freaking lump in your throat. Even if, God Forbid, you cry (sidenote: please cry more) When things are spectacular, soak it up like a sponge . Don’t waste time worrying that it won’t last. Nothing does. Enjoy it while you can. Remember, it is all about the moments. They are what make up your life. 


I have this feeling that 2017 was the wrapping up of many loose ends and that 2018 is a year where you will be seeing the results  of all you have been working on over the past 3-4 years. It is exciting. Make every single day a masterpiece that fills you up. Savor all the moments. Love Big. Keep an open heart. No shrinking out of fear, only expansion. Know your worth. Use your voice. Appreciate the efforts of others. Forgive Forgive Forgive. Support what you love. Leave what doesn’t encourage your own highest good. Feed your soul. Share your dreams. Hug a lot. Laugh till your belly aches. Work out till your muscles burn. Eat dessert.  Make nature your refuge . Now that you have been able to keep a few plants alive, try  a garden!! Read lots of books and write that book, goddammit. Finish your online class. Spend more time with the people you love-even when you think you don’t have the time -make the time. 365 days. 365 opportunities. Do Not Waste a Single One. 


I love you

My 2017 self